When you put so much into a relationship (a part or maybe all of you) to make it work, and things don’t work out, and you walk away, you do so, without really thinking about that part of you that you left behind. At that time, the only instinct that makes you act, is that of survival. Letting go of someone who never valued you or cared for you is still not that difficult. But the part of you, which you left behind, still leaves a void. Life of course, goes on. But there are days and nights and moments when you are drawn back to those days, not on account of anything good that your ‘supposedly better half’ did, but only reminding you of stand-alone experiences, feelings, moments.
A cloudy day in D, reminds me of the weather in S. The most frequent recollection of days gone by comes with the clanging of bells in a local temple during Aarti. Really hot food reminds me of the simply yet delicious food served at S. None of this ever makes me re-think about my decision.
It really just means that all our experiences add several layers to our personalities and we begin to associate some things with certain places and people. It will perhaps, take me a whole new set of overwhelming and powerful experiences to overwrite the ones I have had. Till then, the void will remain.
I try not to think about the ‘why’s’. Really, there is no point. just like there is no point in playing ‘Hay Day’ all day. And, I would rather play ‘Hay Day’ all day than have any free moment to think about the ‘why’s’. After all, it is a strategy game and so is life and strategy was never my strong point! 😮